Following The Pull

The quiet risks that changed everything.

Looking back, the biggest risks I’ve taken in my life rarely looked like courage in the moment. Most of the time, they looked like uncertainty, fear, and decisions that made absolutely no sense to the people around me. I talk a lot about the risk it took to leave corporate. But the truth is, risk has quietly shaped my entire life long before I ever realized it, and maybe still am.

At 25, early in my career, I had the opportunity to buy into the company I worked for. I was deeply inspired by what my former CEO was building. To this day, he remains one of the most inspiring speakers, leaders, and talent acquisition visionaries I’ve had the privilege of witnessing. The few close people I confided in thought I was insane. The buy-in was significant. It meant giving up my bonuses and forgoing an abundance of passive income from my efforts in order to invest in company stock instead. I remember a close family member saying,

“They just want to lock you in. You won’t see that return for decades.”

But something about it felt different. Unique. Like an opportunity I wasn’t meant to pass up. When I accepted the role, I chose this company for a career, not a quick way to get rich. I could see that I was one of the first younger hires in a broader growth initiative. I felt the pride of the older shareholders and the legacy they were building. I felt the pull, and I trusted it. So at 25, I became the youngest and the first woman shareholder in my chemical distribution company.

There were moments when the decision felt heavy. I remember one afternoon standing in a grocery store buying an avocado for lunch because it was the only thing I could justify spending money on that week. My annual shareholder payment was due, and every extra dollar was going toward it. At the same time, I was in an unbalanced relationship and taking on far too much financial responsibility in my personal life. I didn’t know it then, but as the years unfolded, I would need to redistribute my resources- financial, emotional, and physical- to protect my own well-being.

Life is a series of intuitive decisions. The hardest ones rarely make sense at the time. In my late twenties, I watched friends buy homes, cars, and settle into traditional milestones. Meanwhile, I was making ends meet and investing in a future I couldn’t fully explain to anyone yet. I stayed focused, trusting the unique path unfolding in front of me. Then fate presented another turning point.

In a casual conversation with that same CEO, he mentioned the company needed someone on the West Coast. What surprised everyone- including myself- was that I stepped up. At the time, I had just lost my dad, and my mom was very sick. Our healthcare system was failing her, and despite my efforts to try to save her, I eventually had to release the grip I had on controlling what I could not change. I was no longer able to make decisions for her care or support her in the ways I wanted- or that she deserved. She had been moved an hour away from me, which made seeing her more difficult. That alone broke my heart.

At 27, I said my final goodbye to my mom and moved across the country. Leaving her was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. For years, it haunted me. But I’m also grateful for it, because that moment deepened my mission and shifted the trajectory of my life. Had I not moved, I would not have awakened to the differences in regulations that exist across states. I would not have immersed myself more deeply in manufacturing or gained exposure to industries where consumer transparency looked completely different. I also would not have discovered forms of holistic health that became my foundation for longevity.

Moving to California felt like stepping into the unknown. I didn’t realize at the time that some of the most defining chapters of my life were about to unfold there. Professionally, I was building from scratch. I was representing a company that had no prior presence in the region. It forced me to become resourceful- to build relationships, position our business, and learn formulations across entirely new industries. Looking back now, it was entrepreneurship training. Understanding chemicals taught me something most people never see: the systems shaping our lives are rarely designed with human health in mind.

Personally, I was building from scratch too. I didn’t know many people in California, and that came with a whole set of life lessons and realignments. Two months after I moved, my mom passed away. California became the place where I grew, grieved, and navigated some of the most difficult chapters of my life. It was there that I received my BRCA gene mutation test, which came back negative despite both of my parents having cancer diagnoses- a moment in time I will never forget, because it was the ultimate life shift, the catalyst to start TheCheekyClean, my lifestyle brand birthed from a commitment to living differently and using my knowledge of chemical ingredients to help myself- and others- make more empowered choices. Just in time for yet another risk.

Six years later, another opportunity appeared: a promotion. It required me to move back to Cleveland- the place I had once said I would never return to. But something inside me knew this step would challenge me and expand me in ways I still needed. I knew I had to be fully ready to move before I even interviewed for the role. The competition was strong, and I needed complete alignment in my mindset to pursue it. At the time, I was engaged and living in Laguna Beach. I loved my life there. But the next chapter was calling. This career shift became one of the most transformative, and darkest, periods

I went from controlling my own schedule to working in an office again. I was traveling the world, and I was in a role where my peers were almost exclusively older men, many with stay-at-home partners managing life behind the scenes. I was newly married, trying to conceive, and pouring my worth into material markers of success to mask a deeper feeling of misalignment.

But that role gave me the clearest perspective yet. I convinced myself I would change the industry from the inside. In Europe, over 10,000 chemicals banned for safety reasons are still permitted in the United States. Seeing that disparity firsthand strengthened my mission. I was determined to educate people- especially the Midwest community following TheCheekyClean- about how to live better, with this direct insight I had behind the scenes.

I worked twelve-hour days during the week and spent my weekends searching for farms, local businesses, and healing resources. I sat in conference rooms with leaders from some of the largest consumer brands in the world, asking simple questions:

“Why can’t we just use safer chemistry?”

The answer was almost always the same.

“Because consumers won’t buy it.”

So I kept educating.

As my mission grew stronger, my misalignment with the industry grew louder. How could I continue trying to reform profit-driven, poorly regulated systems while actively contributing to them every day? The life that once represented success- material stability, corporate prestige, predictable structure- began to feel hollow and lifeless. Eventually, survival mode set in. At some point, the cost of staying became greater than the risk of leaving. That realization led to the greatest risk of all: divorce, resignment, and completely dismantling the life I had built in order to start again in alignment.

Recently, I’ve felt moments of fear and doubt as I continue the journey of full entrepreneurship. But this morning, during my annual investor call, I was reminded of the risks that created the foundation for the life I have today. When I bought into the company at 25, I had no idea the business would sell much earlier in my career- becoming the financial foundation that allows me to pursue my mission.

I had no idea that moving across the country would ignite my personal brand. And I certainly didn’t know that divorce would crack me open in the ways necessary to heal and build something truly aligned.

But I trusted the pull. And God has always had my back.

Life now looks very different than it used to. I’ve downsized my material life tremendously and with my new brand Conscious Cart I’m creating products that consumers can trust instead of selling the formula components that can harm. My entire life is rooted in purpose- from my daily habits, to the educational resources I am so honored to provide through TheCheekyClean, to interviewing and connecting through real experience as the host of RAW the podcast. As I sit here reflecting on that journey, I feel overwhelming gratitude for every step, lesson, and ounce of courage it took to arrive here. Fear is often just the ego trying to protect us. In those moments, we forget everything we’ve already overcome. Recently I heard a quote on Matt Gottesman’s podcast The Niche Is You that perfectly captured this energy:

“Consistency and honoring your intuition strengthens discernment. Trusting yourself transitions into trusting God and others.”

Some risks lead to beautiful outcomes. Others teach us the lessons we needed all along. Either way, they keep us moving forward on the path we were meant to walk. And if you’re in a season where the next step feels uncertain, remember this: The life you’re building is often shaped by the risks no one else understands yet. Take a breath, and remember how far you’ve already come. 🤍